The Scars Faded In Dark

It was threaded to be this way,

A story that sang of their sins,

A lore that brought light to the scars,

A truth, trembling under the umbrella of her stars.

She was born in happiness,

But, the faith awaited grief,

She was brought up with kindness,

But, the sin pushed the heaven to her knees.

We all know a Noor,

The child who lived a little less,

And felt a little more,

The child who was sold from the shore,

Or the one who slept on the broken road,

Waiting for the cold to pass by,

But, afraid of the light that shall burn the sky.

There are many escaping her sight,

In the dark, her scares were never alive,

Let the light shine on the blood that she lost,

One moment to break the curse of the sin,

One hand to wipe the tears from the eyes,

One hope to let her feel a smile,

The expression that shall capture her fears from the night.

Gods of Love

The Fine Margin

Oh Aphrodite

Have I mistaken

Love

Passion oozes

Skin grinds against skins

Breathing in the moist

Smell of holy union

Oh Cupid

Have I mistaken

Love

My hands glide through her hair

Like black mares

Running in the dark

Oh the hair

Oh Venus

Have I mistaken

Love

For faith

Truth

Purity

And lust?

Oh Eros

Have I mistaken

Love

The Gods have spoken

They lay their wrath

On a mortal such as me

How dare I ask questions?

Squeamishly I stare down

At the Gods of love

They didn’t define it

Neither can I.

Don’t take my arms

Granted for skinny dipping

We don’t have to

Burn like embers to lay in ash

Do not undress

I saw you already

Changes I detest

From my dreams

You are perfect

From where I stand

You don’t have to come here

To break my heart

In my eyes you are

Shades…

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9. Asleep Yet Awake

“Are you alright, Atlas? Are you still asleep? It is 5 o clock.” It was Alex, the voice that drove me out of that scary place.

“The dreams are terrible yet, so meaningful.” I tried smiling at her, she looked terrified. Alex would never understand the dreams, she is the best in understanding the human mind, but the sense of mysticism always irritated her.

“Atlas, read less. You are driving yourself into these dreams, and I am afraid you are doing something to your head. I will make you soup, and if you sleep for more than 10 hours, I am calling Dr Louis.” I could not reply to her concerns, I wish I could share the most absurd but beautiful dreams with my wife, but what I have learned over the years of our marriage is her rational set up.

The one thing about her that makes us different from each other is my tendency to drift with thoughts and hers to restrict me, she balances my take on literature. Dr Louis is another rational human who would go to the extent of insulting me on my writings, his feedbacks always helped me in putting together pieces for the radical minds, but his presence used to be imitating. Dr Louis would be the last person I would share my dreams with, I had o visit to the college, I knew Irfan would understand these visions.

Soon, Alex was there with the best soup in the world, in our place for the daily therapy.

“Louis can be helpful, he is a psychiatrist, he might be knowing some mental exercises to calm the rush of thoughts, your fever is gone as well.” she could deduce I was alright just by the touch.

“How was your day? Are you happy with the work?” I had no choice but to change the topic.

“The work was not the problem, you never checked your phone, I was worried.” I picked up my phone, 7 missed calls, all from Alex. And an email, the same adress, which Irfan used before. I opened the mail on the phone and could see a verse and the word rumi at the end. Brought a smile on my face.

The verse continued, sir. It hit me in the camp, I use my friend’s device to email, donnot reply on this mail id. 

 

You, who have fallen asleep in the boat of the body,

You have seen the water.

Now, look upon the water of water.

There is a water which empowers the water;

There is a spirit which moves the spirit

Rumi

8. The Violin Play

“Hey, Alex. I guess I am sick. It is time to wake up.” I could only feel the febrile decay of my strength. My body was warm to its core, the brittle memories from the weird dream added to the problem. ” I had a weird dream. Fever dream, I suppose..”.

“Good Morning, take an off today, Dr Atlas. You think so much.” she came closer to kiss, the touch of her lips was cold. ” It is bad. You should have a break. Stay at home, I will come early as well.” Her voice was comforting, yet my body felt as if it would melt from the shivers through my skin. I took out the medicine and swallowed it with the last sip of water left in the water bottle.

“Yes, I will text them that I cannot come. Have a good day. Make something delicious. I need some positive energy in my mind.” I smiled at her and kissed her for a brief moment. The moment was not enough, but my body was not normal. I smiled again and closed my eyes, afraid of the dream yet searching for the answer of the Vedas. Wisdom could not reach to me eventually, the dream made no sense.


The endless and immortal space, a dream again. A drop of sweat rolled down my face. Another dream with no wisdom of real context of my life.

It was the space this time, completely empty just a sort of a cluster of beautiful colours in front of me. I was not breathing, not moving, not listening, but I was there. Kept at the moment, waiting for something to wake me up. I placed my vision onto the bright colours in front of me, the cluster looked like a coloured river contained by the moment. I close my eyes, trying to wake myself. I was stuck again, sweating with the vision of a giant super nova. A dead star, ironically my mental status at the very moment; a mind incapable of allowing the wisdom of the experience, process through its core.

I helplessly stare at the blend of colours, a golden glow around the deep red and blue blend of its centre. To the little philosophy in my head, it reminded me for the colour of blood revamped with the blue of the sky. Symbolic of danger, life and peace. I was certainly lost. I kept looking till my mind could perceive an image of a women’s face in the dead star. A beautiful face, red on the inside and the blue slowly converted into the black like the rest of the space. A slow descent of the blue into the darkness. A sudden sound gave me chills, it was music. A violin, a sad-single instrument that seemed to be the void around me. The face had darkened on the edges of the colour. The eyes had the blue, rest everything was red. Red to the essence, I did not even try speaking. Waited for the silly dream to send more cues of my sub-conscious head.

The music slowed down with the image of the women blinking her eyes, the movement again went forth to disturb the darkness. Her lips appeared and slowly the space around me began to detonate with a powerful tone to go along with the violin.

Each word is supposed to uplift your existence from the hell,

Each phrase had to pull your essence to the blue,

But you desired the blood! The wars!

You belonged to the skies, But the hour is rather broken to fly,

The words were dead when the red had coloured the race,

Only a few remain in the isolated verse,

You sought wisdom and here you end,

Dying with the meaning of those words as the ornament,

Just keep your soul, listen till inferno,

Sophia from the Republic has died,

They never read Plato in the dim light,

I only exist in this lost cell of thoughts,

Inside the mind of a sick person, inside the blank pages that were lost.

My body was almost gone out in the darkness, absorbed and devoid of my sense to a greater extent. Her face, the face resembled Alex. Sophia, rather a philosophy from the book I am supposed to read.

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7. The Talking Vedas

The empty living room was a catalyst for my brain. I was working on a book, a story that would redefine the boundaries of religion. Every time I looked at the religious books resting on the table in the bright light from the windows, the voice of my father would resonate in my head.

I wonder what they all say. I do wonder what the authors wanted to tell the world. But what we need to know is that there is no hate, no critic to the foundation of the paths. You must be bored already. Sweet dreams, son.

I was never bored from his takes on life. I wondered the same, I taught the English translation of Mahabharata in the last semester, but nothing really made sense to me. Veda Vyasa, the immortal who cannot tell the world what his story tried to do. It seemed we puzzled up the inscriptions.

Everyday with Alex’s door bell my adventure to find meanings would come to an end.

“Hi there, how was the day?” Taking her bag from her hand followed by the hug was indeed a pleasant pause from the day.

“Lot of work. I can fall asleep any moment now. How was your class? The boy?” she walked into the room, took out the salads from the morning and sat down on the chair.

“I brought you fruits to add into the salad.” I smiled and took fresh berries out of the fridge. “It was really good, he told me things about his journey. Apparently, we have the same favourite poet.”

I joined Alex with the food, kissed her cheek to have a look at her smile. ” I am so tired today, Atlas. Let’s sleep early alright.”

“Yes, sure. Calm down, I will get some time to research as well.”



I placed my hand on my head. The right side of my head, I must have slept in a wrong way, I thought. My eyes took some time to envelop a sight that could only be a dream. I dream in which I was conscious but not in the real world.

Water, everywhere, not to be felt in my arms but everywhere and apparently I was not drowning in the massive ocean. I took the time to assemble my neck to look around and I could only see another man sitting over the ocean with folded legs. His beard was long floating with the waves, his hair as well. A greyish boundary around him isolating him from the empty ocean.

I felt scared and shouted out to the man, ” Hey! Where are we?” I did not even know what to ask the silent creature. He was sitting in peace his eyes were closed, the face was void and expressionless. Wrinkles covered his face, the rest of the body was covered with a white cloth.

Veda Vyasa is always alive in the mind of seekers. After all, that is the purpose of immortality and literature.

“What? Is this you? What do you mean? Where are we? Can you hear me?” I was only afraid of the place, I could not move or think. Not a dream, for sure.

Hello, Atlas. You are falling sick. And believe me, nobody manifests their head to bring out Vyasa from my writings. People like to read and never think what I want to preach, they make the text their own. They take pride in reading and it makes my lesson brittle to its core. It has been Millenniums, the message is lost, why do you seek it? I am Vyasa, you made me come into your head. And believe me, child, you are sick.

“You are telling me, I am in my own head having a conversation with the immortal Veda Vyasa about my next project? Insane.”

Insane, indeed. I tell you, you are sick. Seek help to end the sickness forever. I suffer from the same, believing and deceiving myself to be free to think and act. Immortal? Yes, I am so sick. I am immortal in their heads, you know. The stupid beliefs, they make me suffer.They take the Vedas and curse another being. They read the scriptures and think the Kings are to be worshipped. Inferno. Inferno to my head, once in for all. Now you are driving in the scriptures to the morals. Inferno. Inferno to you too my friend. Let the ocean heal your burns.

The man vanished into the ocean that started to hurt. The pain kept increasing. increasing to another level. I kept screaming, to escape the pain. But there was no way to escape. I kept screaming.

Atlas once hold the heaven, now it is time to bring the hell. For the inferno seeks a purpose in life, my friend. Let the ocean guide. Seek the ocean and stop their lies.

Inferno. Inferno has haunted every child. Inferno. Inferno is the place where love from religion collide.