Quasar & Love

I am an astronaut, writing something after forty years, or maybe one, I can’t calculate. And I need to write this down, to confess what has happened to me, to hold on to my crisis. I was in love, and we were lost in the stars together, literally. I don’t know about her, don’t need to, for I was all in the oblivion of space.

The spaceship broke down. From Earth to Detroit, the planet where we were supposed to land for the research. The spaceship broke down and Manik died, he was not wearing the spacesuit. Alex was with me, fixing the oxygen supply,  we floated away from the explosion to unknown infinities.

There are certain ideas that float around in the darkness, the idea of love, of being lost, of being alone. I came to space, for there were fewer things on Earth to live for, but it seemed that space ironically did not hold the capacity to undertake emotions.

I was in love with Alex, and I suppose any two humans can fall in love when lost. I cant say that about the earth, but we were clearly in the space, lost. I was lost in love. We waited to die, the oxygen tanks were remunerated to synthesis oxygen. Oxygen could not kill us. She asked me to break her case, to push my head into the glass, so that she can be one with the universe, and not alone, lost in the darkness with me. But, I. I still had the faith of being sucked into the existential plane somehow, moreover, I loved her.

We floated in space for some time. You see, even time cannot exist in the dark. We don’t know about the day and the night, but the fact, that we are lost. She slept a couple of times, and I had to hold her suit, I could not afford to lose the sight of Alex. I did not sleep, I had a feeling she will drift away.

Soon, I passed out into my subconscious. Death? Yes, very close.

But I am writing this, sitting on an unknown planet, just like ours, but not ours. I don’t know where Alex is, I don’t know earth exists. Whether they exist. They say there is a black hole, names Quasar nearby the planet and I was sucked into the warm hole to land on a space station.

I wish I had died, I see her everywhere. She is gone, of course. Everything, one day or the other gets to be one with the universe, I will have my day.

But, one thing that suffocates me in the natural air of this alien land, is the fact, that I never really knew the women I loved. Those two times, she fell asleep, I could feel my heart beat, just looking at her alone in the void, all mine, yet gone.

She never felt that way for me, of course. She was a scientist, a practical head, she knew, we could not live, together, forever, in the darkness. She wanted to leave the darkness, once in for all. It is alright, she was humane in our insane quest to death.

You see, what kills me, is knowing that I never knew Alex and I still fell for her. She rarely spoke a few words in front of me, but I as the imaginary head created this whole story up for my diary entry.

I created the earth, space, Manik, Alex and my alien persona just to know that I never knew any girl I loved.

But this new world is greeting me well, I am imaginatively disturbed but well aware of the new place, where realisation hit me hard and I fall at times, yet the black hole that consumed my space-time for me to stay alive on this new planet was the saviour.

I was lost, therefore I loved.

For now, when I hit the rock bottom,

I am, confused.

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The Stars on her Black Dress

Almost a decade and there she hides,

Underneath the open skies.

Cognition failed to read her eyes,

When she glared upon the flawless night.

 
Another decade further drags of space elongating with time,

And there she hides, underneath the smoke in the skies,

The stars, she adored had locked their doors,

No cognition could now suffice,

For she fell in love, with a man who drew a tiny light

To heal the haze of the smoky night.

 
A few years to heal her lies,

A few kisses to fade her mind.

She was lost, from her journey to the stars,

For the light of the man was oblivion to let her feel the raging scars.

 
And then one night he left her there,

In the dark wilderness,

In love, dejected in despair.

She screamed, she cried,

She was lost in the dark night,

For no light and cognition could foretell her the dreamy lies.

 
It has been months, in the wild,

And I hope somehow, she reads this rhyme.

If not the black ink,

Then her own black threads,

The dress she wears in the dark times,

Will remind her of the decades that died.

 
When the glimpse of hope will hit her dress,

The spark will reflect the forgotten breath,

And when she reads,

Or when she stalls,

The glimpse will guide her to the hall.

 
Almost a decade and there she used to hide.

Never to be known,

Talking to the stars in the night.

 
This is where the ink shall dry,

The darkness shall collide,

And her face shall meet the dying the night,

With tears in her eyes,

She admires the stars,

With tears in her eyes,

She redeems the truth in her past.

 
Here, she lies underneath the skies,

Talking to the child, that was lost in the wild.

No drugs, no cognition can heal her eyes.

For, there is no flaw in the night.

 

 

 

 

Photography by SUBHI SACHAN

She has been the inspiration to many of the blogs on this website. Check out her amazing work here

Together, Tonight.

We shall stay together, tonight. With living lies, fooling the time,

We shall breathe together, tonight. With weary eyes and lines that never shall rhyme.

I am the ocean, and she lives, through the skies, I am calm, She is always on her highs.

If one of us leave our town, If we ever collide,

The mind that deceives us, the root of every lie shall die.

Our kiss, suffocate them,

Our inmate jest can burn the land of the rest,

Lovers be the serene dream,

Tonight, we shall be lost as the breeze.

We shall stay together, tonight.

With weary lines that never should lie,

Nor Rhyme.

Sketch by Vaibhav Gupta

A Meshed Poetic Dream

A wizard in Black, a witch in Blue,

The magic of love blended with their doom.

To let this world be, the colours had to die,

For dreams have no space for blinding lights.

 

For their wands could hold the ocean,

And their words could cease the stars,

They held this dream to last,

To let the sleep mend their swollen hearts.

 

Their power so immense, their misery so pure,

When they would kiss, the moon would adore.

The ocean would pour out into the air,

And ask the mended fire to play fair.

 

The fire once born, was not a charm,

Created by the magician, held by the harm.

The blue would burn, The black would bleed,

The ocean would dry, to quench their need.

 

How cold, the flame to hold them close,

How bright, they burn, with the love in their bones,

The moon would rest, the wind would test

The fire shall still burn the holy flesh.

 

Alas, with only the fire and the night,

Dawn shall break the burning ice.

They wake up, entangled in their heads,

Two poets, one dream, to detest.

Two poets, one dream, the mesh.

 

 

The Man of the Universe (Love story of a comet)

So, this planet was just not right for me,

Ah, the green was gone and what else does a comet look for,

I revolved around her affection for so long,

And at the end, she called it a lunar day, for my fall.

 

A simple human mind that stares each eye of the universe,

I call myself a comet that revolves and have the serenity to fall,

Gravity, they have, each beautiful planet around,

But rare, are the ones who can hold my crown.

 

They call me a mess, planet after planet, I address,

They call me the dreamer from the night,

Ah, they don’t know how passion ignite,

How dank it all felt, and then God pushed me away,

To adore the universe in gray.

 

I have this vision to dream, this magnet of sleep,

So, Yes I am hurt because of the ex-planet,

How beautiful yet deceiving her path around the sun,

I always suspected if she was the one.

 

Alas, in the darkness again, the bright light,

Going around galaxies to find my might,

Faith and orbits surround me as lovers,

Who kiss and leave me blind in colours.

 

Oh, is she a planet dressed in blue?

With the green on top of her mood?

Ah, I shall visit and find the cure,

For the light shall be bright on the shore.

 

And yes, I know my faith,

The day, she allows me to kiss her arm,

Is the day, we both shall die in the charm,

So beautiful, it will be, when we meet,

A staunch blast of light,

And we shall be one.

 

 

Veiling Vices’ Virtues

A violin is set to play,

You are in this beautiful white dress,

Gloves creeping their way to your arms,

A hat hiding the flow of thoughts,

A veil on the face, enclosing its beauty.

 

Here I am, playing the songs in my head,

Suffocated from the flesh,

Where do I look,

When the ocean is enveloped by the sky and I rest in space,

Soon the song will stop and we go home.

 

The place where the secrets don’t settle,

Where bodies are naked and beauty proclaim the universe,

Where we can fall for each other, in the eyes, the deep blues,

No space or sky to resist the flow of my sight.

 

It is simply soothing, the coffee and your skin,

I never liked the sweet taste of hope,

Just the little sour, I adore.

So here we are, hand in hand, no clothes to bind and blind,

Let just lay, till they know we are drunk on coffee,

Till they go home.

Photograph by Anjali Sharma

Check out her amazing work here