Dear Heart

Don’t shiver for she is far,

Dont fret, for her voice that you once met is no more around the thin air of your pulse.

Don’t go beyond what is yours,

The rain of blood,

Letting nerves grow.

Letting it all be red in the darkness.

Love splashing silence into screams,

Silence.

Silence.

Dont run so fast, if she is not there to hold you,

You won’t be able to reach her space,

She is lone commit passing my galaxies and lighting them up,

Don’t feel, for when you fell in love with her,

You forget that the universe moves and expands.

Like you, beating.

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If

If I ask you to die, tonight.
Will you, speak out the entire lie.
I will run down your spine,
To tell you, that it’s alright.

If I ask you to dance the night.
Will you, spill colours of the dying light.
To wake up within, without me.

If I ask you about our love,
Will you, stay the entire time, saying nothing but singing away my life,
For in love, we dream no need.

I have asked a million things,
I have only one answer, I do.
I will never ask you if you do,

If you don’t.

 

Strokes of Silence

Do you remember? Somehow the background that filled in our favourite tree started singing when we forgot about the pain. We call that tree, Surreal. How he was breathing away the toxic silent despair that we let out to the world. Some leaves would drop down to us, in remains of our misery. We keep still, sometimes look into each other’s eyes. It took a few breaths for me to realize that I was. I was in need. I was in love. I was.

The music played till we gave up to the world. The beautiful kingdom we used to serve in our own ways. That place is like no other, in the middle of a menace but serene to synthesise love without the lows of the violin that I never learnt. No matter how much we loved the place, as soon as we used to leave to greet the rush, we were lost. The moment, I find the bricks smiling at me, and the people disguising themselves to stay away from the shame, I left the page and start to write a claim that makes no sense like this sentence. Yes, this is how my consciousness works when I think about the world, where you are lost laughing beautifully and sustain my self as this pseudo-personality.

You never used to speak a word that would sustain my self in the black spaces of write up. You never told me how you feel about the void we shared to feel our soul once in a bit of the menace. Surreal never used to speak either and at times, when I was not happy with my work, I used to enter the temple of silence with screaming thoughts and that’s when I felt the ambience hold me in peace.

We will leave this place alone, I know. But then there are ways, this universe compels you to smile and say, that it is alright. Listen to me, I would ask, tell me things. And no words would reverberate through surreal as the vibrations never left your beautiful lips.

Now, all of this would add on to my dilemma and leave me with the love I have, a little less lost, but never to be found.

One day, a day known for my arrival on this planet, I got a painting from you. And this is what it is all about. Now listen to what you said to me.

“Black bleeds reality and no reminiscence,
The dark comes from the heart,
That beats but only to feel,
The things I can say,
But won’t,
Black.

The red dips underneath the surreal surface,
Below the lies of all my mistakes,
From the secret of the smile,
That hides in the night,
Not thinking,
Feeling,
Red.

The blue is by the seas of the sky,
Where only dreams survive,
Where you and I die,
Deceiving the lost,
We find,
Blue.

The yellow is in your lost eyes,
When the sun denies,
To feed the flower,
With light,
Yellow.

The pink is dwelling in the dark bark,
The flower on the burnt tree,
You call us, destiny,
I barely know,
How I am,
Pink.

The white is the witness of it all,
The divine that decides,
The structure of all,
Your rhyme,
White.”

I know you dipped the brush in the deepest streams of your consciousness, somehow you reached me. And therefore, I call it destiny.

My Tsunami and Tears

When I looked into her eyes…

I heard violins bleeding melancholy. Her eyes had trapped a poet. The music that held my mind poisoned my senses to the outside world. It was a cold breeze that entrapped my soul, I felt as if I am standing on the edge of my existence.
Waves hitting the perplexed consciousness brought fret. Fever. Forlorn. Keats. Wait. This is my own head.

I broke out of my focus and realised I was lost. Somehow the music stopped and I could listen to the crowd around. I had to listen to the violin again, too compelling to be real, but surreal to my instincts.

“Do you mind if I stare?”

“A paraoid poet, huh?”

“Kind of. I am a little weird.”

I could sense the breeze again. Waves were there to comfort my numb senses. Slowly, the waves grew stronger, as if trying to reach me. I looked around and found myself alone trapped in my hallucination. I saw a huge wave approaching the shore. More like a tsunami as it approached. I said to myself, its alright. After all, this is just a play of time. 

“Just remember that all such troubles are now gone and the scars are healing.”

“Yes, but there is too much rush of memories and I almost suffocate myself.”

The huge wave had caught me, my heart trembeling to adjust into reality. I was losing my consciousness, everything faded with my heart beat. Slowly with seconds, I returned. 

“You dont have to cry it out.”

“I cant help it, when the memories hit the shore. I cannot control.”

“I see.”

“Tears are real. I dont like reality.”

“Tsunamis are worse, beautiful.”

A gentle touch on the pulse will hold us both to the limited reality we want to suffer.

Sunlight for the Night

“A walk?”

“Yes. Sounds good.”

“I will take you to death, the tree I told you about.”

“What about life?”

“Yes, it is there too.”

“The sun is out today.”

The sun is not here, I cannot move. I don’t know if the sun. The only voice was the machine next to me, monitoring my heart beats. But I was dreaming. I want to dream again. 

“It is better to imagine, being blind is tough. Better to dream.”

“Yes, you are right. It is peaceful with you.”

“Yes. Nobody gets me the way you can. I escape the world for a reason.”

“I see, I cannot let all of me breathe in the world at once. It is better to be lost.”

No, I can’t see anything. What was I thinking? It is hard in this dark room, listening to my heart lose beats to… beauty? She was beautiful. She is helping my nerves. As if sunlight in the damp world I am in. The hospital. The coma. I cant move. I know I am stuck in the night, but I have her. The memories. I can relive the walks an endless number of times in my head and find peace. 

“You know peace is what I seek. But I am strong.”

“Are you? I feel you are raw human. You have the essence of innocence within. I feel it when you talk and pretend to be strong with certain phrases. But, yes, Peace is all we need.”

“Right now is peaceful, the trees are indeed, beautiful.”

“I know. Too bad death and life are surrounded by people.”

“I like this one the most. What should we call it?”

“Surreal.”

“Surreal.”

I will return. All I need is patience. I will return to the sunlight soon.